Sunday, April 18, 2010

Two Weeks

Two weeks. It's been sixteen weeks since I started my 18 week advanced marathon training program. It was the week between Christmas and New Years. A lot has changed in those 16 weeks. Some of it has been good, some of it not so good, but that's life. But....two weeks. Within two weeks, fourteen days, I will know if one of my dreams that I never knew I had will come true. In fourteen days I will know if I can accomplish something that I never thought I could. In fourteen days I will be running my heart out for 26.2 miles. I truly believe that I can accomplish my time goal. The questions remaining are things out of my control. I have done the training, the rest is up to nature. God only knows, God only knows.
One thing that has me unnerved and I hesitate to bring it up is that my leg hurts. It started hurting during my "hell" week last week and it hasn't really gotten better with reduced mileage. I took a few more days off this week as to hopefully help whatever it was to heal. It's not really working, so I'm going to just keep on keepin' on. We'll see what happens. I've read the books and I am doing the right thing. I won't risk my entire running life for this event. But it hasn't gotten to that point yet and I hope I won't have to make that decision. I am prepared to make it if it gets there.
I have had a lot of people tell me that I'm crazy. I take it that it's a good crazy. I hope that my boys will someday understand what it is that their mom is doing. Right now, they just know that I'm gone a lot in the morning and tired a lot in the afternoons because of running. They know that I talk a lot about it. I think they like to watch me finish, and maybe some day, I can watch them finish, probably from wwwaaaaayyyyy behind them. I hope they will learn from me. I hope they will see me persevere and work hard and try and try and try. I hope they will see me succeed. And I hope they are filled with a sense that they can do anything as long as they set their minds and do the work, however hard, sweaty, and tiring. Whatever that thing is they want, whether it's a career, a sport, a girl, a nice yard, I just hope they can look at their parents and see us work to get what we want, stop when we have or need to, but see themselves as "doers" and not just "dreamers". I say they can do their it.
I hope my friends and family can see what I have done and maybe look at themselves differently. Maybe they can try something unusual or extreme. Well, it's not like what I'm doing is really that unusual.....I just don't personally know many people who run marathons. I would like to, but I just don't. I hope other moms can step outside of their families and do something for themselves, whatever it may be, if there's something they want to do. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a volunteer. I am also I runner. It's a huge part of my life, it's my out, my therapy. I wouldn't be me if I couldn't run. I don't view it as being selfish to run. I view it as a necessity for my well-being, my health, my sanity. So if there's something that YOU want to accomplish.....I say, GO FOR IT. Of course, be sure it's the right time, but GO FOR IT. Well, it's probably never the right time, but be sure it's an ok time. Then do it. Just do it.
As for me, I just want to run fast in two weeks. I don't know if it will happen this time, but I sure hope it will. I will give it my all, for my family, my friends, and mostly, for myself.
A good friend wrote me today, "Heaven bound but I'd love to run through Boston on the way!". I shall revise that to be, "Heaven bound but I'd really really really really really love to run through Boston on the way!". That pretty much sums up how I feel. And I appreciate friends like her who have supported me along the way, whether it's the marathon or as a mom. It's friends like her that make life so much more interesting and lovely. Thank you!

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